Eight things to know about Child Development

From Harvard’s Center for the Developing Child- 

1. Even infants/young children are significantly affected by stress. 

2. Life outcomes are not solely affected by genes. 

3. Children also benefit from significant attachments to others besides the parent. 

4. Brain development continues past age three on into early adulthood. 

5. Severe neglect is as much a threat to development as physical abuse. 

6. Children exposed to violence/adversity do not invariably develop stress disorders or become violent. 

7. Removing a child from a dangerous environment will not automatically reverse the negative impact. 

8. Resilience requires relationships, not rugged individualism.  https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/8-things-remember-child-development/  

I am constantly reminded how important connection, socialization and relationships are to development of the self and ongoing positive quality of life.

One for all, and all for one! Family Systems Theory

When one person in a family needs treatment, they should not be considered the only person in need of help. Family Systems Theory helps everyone to recognize the need for change for all, not just one. https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/family-systems-therapy

Positive Psychology

From UPenn- Positive Psychology is the study of the strengths that enable individuals and communities to thrive. It is founded on the belief that individuals want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, and to enhance their experience of love, work, and play. https://ppc.sas.upenn.edu   What can a parent do when their teen has lost their strength and drive to strive for all that they can offer and what is good in themselves? If it has reached a critical point, where all local interventions have not succeeded, it may be the moment to consider residential wrap-around treatment so that the teen or young adult can find their best selves again. 

Addiction and Families

“Without help, there will be no peace, no resolution.” “We think we are protecting them by not talking, but the cure for dysfunction and disease is transparency and truth.” “We know that once communication and honesty are present, healing can occur.” This from an article (Families and the Addiction Spiral, by Betsy Spier, LMFT) in the California Marriage and Family Therapist magazine. http://viewer.zmags.com/publication/94dbf42f#/94dbf42f/22  The article examines three models for family therapy in treating addiction.

Addiction creeps in slowly and teenagers are especially vulnerable. Getting help will make the difference. 

College Students and the Pandemic

In 2019, Anthony Rostain, MD, Chief and Chair of the Dept. of Psychiatry at Cooper University Health Care, penned a book, “The Stressed Years of Their Lives: Helping Your Kid Survive and Thrive During Their College Years.”  With the pandemic, has come increased mental health difficulties for college students. In a recent article for the Penn Gazette, he encourages students to take a break from the screen and to create a normal sleep-wake cycle. For those college students at home, he advises parent that they “have to acknowledge that this is not something you can make go away for your kid” and that parents have to toe a fine line between rigid rules preventing young people from socializing and an overly cheery outlook trying to assure them that things will get better. He states, “A lot of COVID college kids are kind of feeling like they’re going through something that’s not only making life harder but that’s screwing up their future.”  There is cause for concern, as research from the CDC for June 2020, found that one in four people aged 18 to 24 seriously contemplated suicide. Colleges are taking action and stepping up. They are creating Wellness Centers and student led interventions. It is important for parents to understand the mental health services available at college.  Here is an article about what one college did to take action.  https://thepenngazette.com/wellness-warriors/

Warm Connection Lessens Conflict with Teens

The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley published an article showing that daily warm emotional experiences can influence coping skills and behavior for teens. No matter what is happening during the day, it is important to offer kindness and positive regard.

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/when_do_teens_feel_loved_by_their_parents

Social/Emotional and School

 Creating Emotional Connection with teachers and peers is just as important as the academic program. Creating connection is more difficult with online classes, but some schools are building it into their curriculum. Check to see if your school is offering support for student’s overall well-being online. This article is informative https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/education/2020/07/31/covid-online-school-kids-mental-health-teachers/5529846002/

ADHD and Executive Function

 Some experts feel ADHD is a disorder of executive function. ADHD affects emotional regulation which uses the same processes of the frontal lobe that executive function utilizes. It can be especially difficult for young people with ADHD to manage both their positive and negative emotions which can be rapid and drastic in the ups and downs. Chadd.org recommends "cooling down the brain". Techniques are: taking a deep breath, meditation and yoga, relaxation exercises, taking a bath, exercise, play with the cat or dog, get out in nature, draw or paint, listen to music, talk to someone.

Eco-anxiety

You may be surprised to learn that in this time of unrest and pandemic, some teens and young adults are also suffering from eco-anxiety- a chronic fear of environmental doom. They have a fear of what is to come, and this uncertainty can heighten clinical anxiety. Consider asking your teen what their thoughts are about the future and the future of the world. You might be surprised as to the dystopian outlook that can make hope difficult for some young people. 

Current Developmental Factors Affecting Youth

“The Origins of You” is a new book out on human development. In an interview with Psychology Today, the authors describe 4 developmental factors that are the most under appreciated in development. 1. Randomness, 2. Early Traits, 3 Historical Changes, 4. The Cost of Resilience. There are implications here for children and teens living through this current time.   

Article. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202004/what-makes-you-who-you-are   Book.  https://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674983458

What Happened to Time?

We think we now have time on our hands, but maybe we always did. A new book (The Clock Mirage, Our Myth of Measured Time by Joseph Mazur https://yalebooks.yale.edu/book/9780300229325/clock-mirage

explores time and its intersection with our human consciousness. Time and Clocks are man-made, but does a clock really measure time or fully encompass what time is. The author posits that time lives within us. What do I want for my birthday?  Time.

Mental Health/Substance Use-Online Therapy and Group

While sheltering in place, many of our mental health/substance use support systems are impacted. Fortunately, many organizations are creating online support meetings. Please visit my website at https://www.miltnerconsulting.com.com to learn about low-cost online therapy, online group support for depression/anxiety, substance use and co-dependency.  Stay well.

ADHD and Positivity

The Euphoria of ADHD. According to experts Dr. Hallowell and Dr. John Ratey, this is an area often overlooked as a real positive for the student with ADHD. The search for stimulation is not all bad. It can drive a person to create and build. Encouragement and Positive Praise are so important. A person with ADHD will thrive on recognition. Learn more here-  https://www.additudemag.com/webinar/recognition-responsive-euphoria-adhd/

Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) in adolescents is best treated with psychotherapy, social-skills training, vocational training, help with academics, and parent management training programs. Bootcamps do not work. Sometimes long-term residential placement is necessary to get the help needed. Especially if the adolescent has reached the point where multiple interventions have been tried without success.The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry has a helpful Guide for families of children with ODD.

https://www.aacap.org/App_Themes/AACAP/docs/resource_centers/odd/odd_resource_center_odd_guide.pdf

Therapeutic Educational Consulting

If you are considering a therapeutic boarding school, please reach out to me, an Educational Consultant. I have been helping families for fifteen years, and the most heartbreaking times are when families have placed their own children without assistance and need to make a change because it wasn’t a good fit. What is right for one teen, may not be right for another. There are multiple variables to consider. Mistakes can be costly emotionally and financially. Educational Consultants may seem expensive, but I travel to visit programs (at my own cost), attend conferences, stay up to date with recent educational and therapeutic modalities. Considering the very expensive cost of residential therapeutic treatment, the consultant is a small portion of the expense to have peace of mind.

Trauma in the Body

Memory is stored in two ways- explicit (facts and figures) and implicit (emotions). They form one complete memory. But, under stress your memories are not coded properly. And that is why certain situations can be a trigger to someone with trauma. The physical response needs to be addressed in trauma treatment. Sometimes trauma victims don’t even recall a certain episode, but their body remembers. Please read more here- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/workings-well-being/201708/heal-trauma-work-the-body

Drug Use by Teens Declines

Most 8^th, 10^thand 12^thgraders are using less drugs than in the past. 6.1% of 8^thgraders, 9.6% of 10^thgraders, and 12.4% of 12^thgraders have used illicit drugs in 2018. So, not everyone is using drugs. But vaping has increased significantly which does have health implications for teen populations. https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/monitoring-future-survey-high-school-youth-trends

Sleep and How it Impacts Everything!

Sleep impacts memory, learning, physical health, and just about anything you can think of.

Watch Dr. Matt Walker explain how important it is to sleep and if you are not sleeping well, where and how to get help. I am going to turn off that computer one hour before bedtime for sure after watching this TED talk!  https://www.ted.com/speakers/matthew_walker

How Much is too Much Media Use?

With Teens on average now spending nine hours/day on media, should it be time to ring the alarm bells! Parents are always struggling to know when the computer/phone needs to be turned off.  Common Sense Media is a great website for answers.  https://www.commonsensemedia.org/screen-time